japanese mash

Christmas at Home

2006-12-25T09:32:00.000+09:00

So I finally decided to stop gallavanting around the world neglecting my family and go home for christmas. I had a brilliant time, even though I no longer have a bedroom!! The food was good and it was great to see everyone. Next time christmas dinner at mine in Hagi. Ok mum?

Mr January!! Published Photographer!

2006-12-18T15:53:00.000+09:00

Every year the Jet Programme invites JET participants to take part in a photo competition with the best entries featuring in a calendar. The calendar is then distributed to all participants and contracting organisations around Japan. It is also sent around the world in order to promote the Jet Programme. I sent a few photos in on a whim and I got chosen!! My photo appears in January of the desktop calendar.

The photo was taken in Yamanashi ken in April when my family and I visited Mount Fuji. Chuffed!

Rugby Final

2006-11-23T16:12:00.000+09:00

Today my technical high school played in the Yamaguchi High Schools Final. We won 24-3!!! Again, sport in Japan was weird. People would be cheering and then as soon as someone scored a try it went silent. I kept thinking that the tries were disallowed but no, it was just Japan being weird. It was cold and wet - reminded me of Saturday morning rugby practice when I was a student.

Well done Hagi Kogyo!!

School Festival

2006-11-03T20:39:00.000+09:00

This year my base school and my technical school are merging so our cultural festivals were combined. It was really good fun. Much bigger and better than last year. There were food stalls, a haunted house, tea ceremony, rock bands, break dancing, a brass band, fishing and more. My job was basically to go round and talk all day. It's not bad being an ALT. I only teach at the technical school once a month so it was good to get to know the students and for them to see me outside of the classroom (the english lessons there really suck!!)How small do I look? People are meant to be short in Japan!!!!

The anticipation of the Haunted House was just too much!! Paul and I decided to turn the tables and actually scare the "ghosts and zombies" instead. They were wimps. Not scary at all.

No more Halloween PLEASE!!

2006-10-31T13:58:00.000+09:00

I have done so many Halloween lessons recently that I'm sick of it!! But I did have fun. Every Thursday some of my students go to Paul's school for optional English lessons (are mine not good enough?) Paul kindly invited me to his Halloween extravaganza. We carved pumpkins, had a mystery box of eyeballs, guts and brains and then ate so many sweets that I felt sick. It was great!!
At elementary school we made masks, played Halloween games and went trick or treating at the Headteacher's office.

I actually went through my town looking like this. People's reactions were great. I made someone literally jump on the other side of the road to me. haha.

Yanai Halloween 2006

2006-10-29T23:05:00.000+09:00

So last year I took the best male halloween costume as Jackie Kennedy. How was I going to top that this year? Well I just couldn't. I had decided not to go for the title this year and let someone else have the chance. So the day of the party I was still without a costume but with some last minute shopping in Tokuyama, some buttons, a straw hat, a tshirt, sticky back plastic and face paint I managed to throw together Luffy from the popular Japanese animation "One Piece".

I WON TWO YEARS RUNNING!!!! WTF? I feel slightly guilty as Saki should have won as Michael Jackson (It was creepingly good). I put my win down to the Japanese vote and Hannah's artwork on Luffy's tongue. The foreigners definitely didn't vote for me as I had to keep explaining who I was all night.

Dear Kat was sorely missed at Gotcha - that place will always remind me of you (and that mash up night we had with Steph and Yakuza)

Costumes worth a mention: Michael Jackson and Bubbles (Saki and Hannah), The Hulk (Eugene), Steve Irwin + Sting Ray (Jeff the Marine), Hard Gay (Stirling), Greek/Roman Goddess (Jess - I forget which one you were) and David Hasslehoff (Paul).

tsunoshima

2006-10-14T14:18:00.000+09:00

Mabo, the barman at our local, decided to take us to the island of Tsunoshima on his day off. A movie was filmed here last year and they built the chapel especially for the movie. Now the chapel is public toilets. Dont watch the movie it sucks.

It was a really relaxing day. Jo and I decided to go for a swim but it was bloody freezing!!

Saijo Sake Festival

2006-10-08T20:45:00.000+09:00

I have been to (and thrown out of) a few Real Ale festivals in my time. It's guaranteed drunkeness. Would the Japanese version live up to these expectations?

We headed to Saijo in Hiroshima ready to sample the finest sake that Japan has to offer. So here was the deal: 1000 yen (five pounds) entry fee then unlimited sake from 11am to 5pm. You are given a sake cup, then you line up and choose your poison, drink it and then move on to the next line.A recipe for happiness/disaster. We foresaw the likelyhood that there would be projectile vomiting throughout the course of the day so were taking bets on the time when the first person would spew. I chose 3:45. Yours truly was the first to ralph at 3:32. I had the closest time but due to the chance of foul play and intentional spewing the next closest person (Cass) took the money. Bastard.

I haven't been so happy for ages. I was loving japan all over again. That was until it closed and we headed into Hiroshima. Tiredness and drunkeness kicked in and I participated in the worst ever, wrist slittingly bad karaoke session of my life. I was not loving Japan.

Sake doesn't give you that much of a hangover though.

HAPPY HAPPY HAPPY
Now if that isn't the face of an alcoholic I don't know what is. (Sorry Satomi)
My Sake cup.6 hours of drinking was obviously too much for the Japanese lightweights. Bless them.
Rick and Brett also fell victim to the Sake. Brett passed out for three hours in a toilet. I think we're going to get on well. Yes Pete, that's Yasue. She seemed to be really genki but I can't remember what we talked about.
Not so HAPPY HAPPY HAPPY

Japan has gone too far

2006-10-08T19:15:00.000+09:00

Japan is obsessed with everything kawaii (cute). Everything is cute. But this is taking it too far. If I ever get a cute number plate for my car I know it's time to leave.

Camping

2006-10-07T18:37:00.000+09:00

AJET organised some camping at Akiyoshidai and invited some of the Nagasaki JETs. A very drunken night - that's all that I can say. Indoor barbecue. mmmmmm. but I missed most of the food becuase I was drinking instead. ooops

This is me drinking red wine out of my inflatable sheeps ass. Classy.
errr.....
Rosie was the leader of all the misbehaving as usual.Jo and Eugene looking very pleased with themselves. You're welcome back to Hagi anytime Eugene!!Beer + Steph's Jungle Juice + Jungle Gym = Dangerous

Aio World Shrimp Catching Contest

2006-09-16T10:55:00.000+09:00

The small seaside town of Aio invites a few foreigners every year to take part in their shrimp catching contest. This is the only way they can call it a "World" Contest. You're given a net bag and white gloves and dash into the seA where they have released hundreds of shrimp. You use your index finger to dig around in the sand and hook the little buggers. Afterwards you head back to the beach and cook your catch on the bbq.

The world champion caught around 70 or 80 shrimp. I managed a measely 11 but when you compare it to the other foreigners (0-4 on average) I did very well. Was also interviewed on TV with my awful Japanese.

New Piercing!

2006-08-28T21:16:00.000+09:00

There was once a time in Uni when my friends and I would wake up hungover/still drunk and march up to the closest tattoo/piercing parlor for a new random piercing. Before coming to Japan, all of my piercings came out one way or another - probably a good thing as I thought I needed to look respectful. My friends have continued the tradition back in blighty (my favourite being the bit of skin between your thumb and index finger - Dicks, Conk, the rails are nowhere to be seen). Now that I've realised that it's impossible for me to be anywhere close to respectful I decided to get a new one!

I've just realised how ugly ears are - or is it just mine?

Its all a blur

2006-08-24T09:35:00.000+09:00

Here we go.....

The last few weeks have been mental!! I don't know what I can say about them really. Somewhere in there was two weeks of solid drinking and I think I am on the verge of checking myself into the Priory along with Pete Doherty

After Fuji we welcomed Jo (a Hagi newbie) at the Hagi festival.I remember arriving during the festival last year and it was just too much to take in. Jo did well! She managed to make it out to Karaoke afterwards (that's what I like to see!) And no I was not walking the streets with a can of Asahi Super Dry in my hands whilst talking to students. They did however tell me to use a condom if I took Becky home that night. They might be dirty but at least they're careful!

Then onto Tokyo where I was working as a TOA (Tokyo Orientation Assistant) for the next batch of newbies. I had one day to spare so I met up with Christine, Louise, Kat and Sarah for one last night of misbehaving before they left Japan. It resulted in piercings, seeing boundaries and eating them, very bad karaoke, something very shocking in a very posh bar, and then wandering the streets at 2 in the morning singing "You were always on my mind". Great Night!! Next day onto Narita airport to wait for the newbies who were arriving the next day. We were told that there were no bars in the area so we couldn't go out even if we tried. We tried and we succeeded! Managed to find "The Barge Inn" and got heavily smashed on beer, vodka, redbull and tequila. Don't remember the whole night. The next thing I know, I'm wandering lost in the streets of Narita at 5 in the morning. No idea how I got there, why I was on my own and how to get back to the Hotel. Then slept late and almost missed my bus for Airport duties the next day. I soon got a reputation. (Oh you're the Welsh one!) (^_^)

Anyway, managed to make it through the whole orientation: gave a presentation, met the newbies, took the newbies on a night out (and despite being tired they were really good fun!), tried to sound like I knew what I was doing on information desks and tried to look happy rather than hungover throughout the four days. It was great fun!

Then back to Yamaguchi for the prefectural orientation and another welcome party. Not quite as crazy as last years but still a lot of drunkeness!

Then back to Hagi for another welcome party (for Jo Flic and Simon) I dont actually remeber what happened after this one but I'm sure it was drunken.

I had promised to see Megan and Dave in Shikoku but by this point I just couldn't do it. I needed to rest. But then I remembered that I had promised the use of my appartment to 10 people whilst I was meant to away. I did manage to rest in the days on the beach but the nights....well they were a different story. I did hold myself back somewhat due to fatigue but still enjoyed watching 8 heavily tattooed bikers pass out across the bar after drinking competitions with the foreigners.

Then Pauline, Paul and I Kidknapped Starsky (another newbie) for the weekend and took him to Fukuoka. If he wsn't such a nice guy I would hate him. His Japanese is as good as mine and he's only been here 3 weeks! Bastard. There we met up with Kaoru and Mayumi at a Thai restaurant, then Karaoke and then the Happy Cock. Slept 3 hours in the car and then we headed for the island of Nokoshima for the Isla de Salsa Festival. Salsa, Sun, Sea Sunburn and Sewage. Perfect!

That's about it. Glad to be back at school to be honest. I need some sort of routine to give my life some meaning. Sorry for the lack of pictures but I broke my camera at some point in Tokyo and can't remember how.

Fuji: Been there, Done that, Dan bought the Tshirt

2006-08-04T13:14:00.000+09:00

After a brief stop over in Nagoya (Don't know why, just fancied a bit of Nags action), Dan and I headed for the Fifth Station on Mount Fuji. We were soon joined by Dave, Megan, Matt, Crystal and their friends Kim, Torry, Josh and Scrumplet. Totally unprepared (no torches, not enough warm clothes, wearing trainers) we started our ascent in cover of darkness.

Fuji isn't quite the romantic climb that you would imagine: vending machines and tacky souvenir shops managed to make it all the way up. We were also being chased by a bus tour of elderly luminous green monsters waving light sabers. Despite this, it was a great experience and watching the sunrise on from the top of Mount Fuji with such good company will undoubtedly be one of my lasting memories from Japan.

おつかれさまでした

2006-07-21T21:38:00.000+09:00

Wierd Japanese Potty Training Video

Wait for the end. It gets even funnier!

Ri-chan and Teri-chan in Gion

2006-07-21T20:26:00.000+09:00

Finally I've got round to posting photos of my mum and sister in Kyoto. You can go to a studio where they dress you up as maiko-sans and let you wander around a shrine in the kimono. My mum was slightly reluctant to do it at first but with some " I'll never get to do it again" spirit she jumped straight in and loved it. Apparently having the make up put on is very relaxing and an experience in itself.

Hagi Weekend

2006-07-15T21:28:00.000+09:00

Once again, Dan and Rosie kindly held a bbq and all hell broke loose. Politicians were actually called!! Anyway, it was a great weekend full of beer, fireworks, volleyball, swimming and skinny dipping. The most surreal moment was around 10 of us sitting on the wave breaker, stark bollock naked, listening to Nate rapping. Weird!

Katobasehagishoipatsukimerou!

2006-07-15T20:45:00.000+09:00

Every year there is a huge baseball tournament and almost every school in Japan takes part. It is every High School baseball player's dream to win this tournament and they take it very seriously - and I mean SERIOUSLY. The team had been practising since they first picked up a baseball bat, the cheering squad and brass band had been practising for weeks and then the rest of the school had to spend 4 hours in total in a sweltering gym to practise songs and chants. What happened to just shouting "come on! fucking 'av it!!"? I decided to join in and managed to disrupt the orderly rehearsal and distract all the students. Oooops.

So the after all the rehearsals, the actual match day arrived and we all headed down to Shimonoseki to support the team (supposedly). We were all too busy concentrating on our cheering that we weren't paying much attention to the game!! the team lost, the other teams chants were better and then there were tears!! But I had a great time. I learnt far too much about my students on the bus ride down and they learnt far too much about me in return.

"Chin Chin"

2006-07-10T19:03:00.000+09:00

Today I have a killer hangover and I almost spewed when they placed natto (fermented decomposing bean like shit) in front of me for school lunch. However, the night before made the hangover well worth it.

Yesterday I took part in a soft volleyball tournament with the teachers and the parents from my base school. It was far too serious - standing in lines, bowing, trophies, opening and closing ceremonies etc but it was still good fun. It was about to get a lot better....

The volleyball was followed by an enkai (party) with the parents and teachers. The students act and look exactly like their parents - it was soooo weird! Due to their similarities I soon found out that I got on really well with the parents of my favorite students. One got me started on the straight vodka and we soon got battered. He asked how to say "kanpai" in English and other languages so I taught him "Cheers" "Iechydd da" "Chin Chin" . WAIT A MINUTE - "CHIN CHIN"? Why did I say this? In Japanese this means "penis"!!!!! Well, before you know it, we were toasting "chin chin" to the whole room (including my principle, vice principle, heads of the PTA, and many housewives). Everybody got involved.

Then he felt my "chin chin" to see how big it was. He told everyone that it was like a "daikon" (big thick radish) and that his was tiny (all with hand gestures). Then other parents tried to set me up with their daughters from the school. They didn't think it was wrong at all and were actively encouraging me to persue my students. Well if they insist..... and then there was a fight - always a sign of a good party!

Talking to the students tomorrow will be interesting. I'm not saying anything but I wonder how much their parents told them. I think there should be more enkais with the parents. It's so much fun!!

Sayonara!

2006-07-08T19:52:00.000+09:00

The time has come to say goodbye to all the people that are leaving. The AJET girls (Rosie, Setph and Anita) did a marvellous job organising locations, drinks and food for 60 rowdy foreginers. We couldn't have asked for a better send off. Goodbye to everyone that I didn't get the chance to speak to. Good luck in whatever you do. Could you not just wait 5 minutes Mark? The AJET girls. I'd do them all!! (you first Rosie!)Pretending to be friends -we hate eachother really.The pants pincher herself!! She didn't get them this time round.Rosie!!!! Aaaaah Takagi.
Kick his ass Steph!! "Mordoooooooooooorrrrrr desu"

God Bless America!! (I never thought I'd utter these words)

2006-07-04T14:29:00.000+09:00

In November I celebrated my first ever Thanksgiving with Paul (ok, so it was KFC and a bottle of wine but it was the best we could do) and today was my first Independence Day. I feel almost like an honorary American (I even spell like them now! doh!). For all the bad press that they get in the U.K, the one's I have met are all sound as a pound and Independence day lived up to my expectations - Fireworks on a beach in the rain. Great Fun!! Paul, Mark and Saori enjoying fine weather, wine and negiyaki.
Is this this the coolest firework you have ever seen? It starts shooting sparks out of the canon!!

To become a fully pledged honorary American I need to make it onto a cheerleading squad. The training starts here!!

PS. Don't be worried. I don't actually want to be American. I'm quite happy shagging my sheep thank you very much.

'Guch Yukata Party

2006-07-01T21:55:00.000+09:00

The wonderful Louise organised a Yukata party/ bender in the Guch. The girls looked spectacular in their yukatas (summer kimono) but the beer and fags soon made an appearance. It was all down hill from there as many fell victim to the 2 hour "all you can drink". Louise wanted me to take off my underwear, and as she had done such a good job organising it, I obliged. She then stole it the little minx! Great night!!

Sightseeing in Shimane

2006-06-18T17:00:00.000+09:00

Making the most of our time in Shimane, we headed for some of the most exciting attractions on offer - a lighthouse at Hino-Misaki and the Nima Sand Museum, Hamada beach and then the five storey pagoda in Yamaguchi City. The weather was beautiful and we had a relaxing day driving down the coast.

Outside the sand museum we stumbled across the biggest slide in the history of man!! It was huge!! but unfortunately not as fun as it looks.The Nima Sand Museum boasts the world's largest sand timer. At 5m long it takes exactly a whole year for every grain of sand to drop. On December 31st at midnight the timer is flipped. Stirling could not control himself with the fine array of sand timers.

Shimane Soccer Tournament

2006-06-17T16:39:00.000+09:00

We weren't the best on the pitch but we definitely brought the party (in the form of Tom Smith's dancing) He's a wild one.

This one's for you Skye

2006-06-16T11:34:00.000+09:00

School lunch at elementary school. A lot of people complain about it but my school usually serves up pretty decent meals - until today. Dried fish. head, eyes and all. It was disgusting. Oneof the teachers came up to me and saw that I was slow at eating it. She assumed that I was finding it difficult to eat with chopsticks. Yeah, that's it. eurgggggh!

2006 Yamaguchi Gurning Championships

2006-06-14T16:18:00.000+09:00

I may not have any contenders for the speech contest but I've most certainly got a good chance with the Gurners that I have been training.

NICE

2006-06-12T16:34:00.000+09:00

Awaji 2nd time around

2006-06-06T23:12:00.000+09:00

Once again we headed to Awajishima to take part in aa soccer tournament. The boys - unfortunatley no wins. The girls - RUNNERS UP!! Well done ladies. A really enjoyable weekend. Don't look too close at Pete in the photo below.

How bloody ridiculous!!

Osaka

2006-05-27T22:54:00.000+09:00

After the conference I headed to Osaka to see my friend Chihiro. He used to teach at my base school in Hagi and made me feel really welcome during the past year. I especially grateful to him for teaching me bad Japanese words!! However, I must admit that I was a bad friend turning up with one of the biggest hangovers of my life. I was not very talkative. gomen henna megane!! A very sad thing happened whilst in Osaka. My camera packed it in. We'd been through a lot: a cracked screen at camping, drunkenly dumped in a bowl of ramen and various other mishaps. This was the last ever photo that it took. SNIFF SNIFF.
That night we hit the beer once more and met up with Hannah, Mark and Tammy, who for some crazy reason made it out to a club that night despite being just as hungover as me. Good work!!

Kobe Recontracting Conference (and a little drinking)

2006-05-26T10:39:00.000+09:00

So those of us who have decided to stay another year (plus Perez the jammy bugger) got an all expenses paid trip to Kobe for 3 days. The conference is intended to refresh our jaded teaching enthusiasm and to encourage us to make the most of our second year. If drinking and partying for three days solid doesn't make you love Japan and your job again, what the hell will?

It was Steph's birthday so we managed to find her some cock

So........... Steph's birthday. Curry, Karaoke then......... I'm sure you'll all see the photos at some point. Let's just say there was underwear, a piano, a fountain, cleavage and a crotch. You do the
math.

MUD, MUD, MUD and er MUD

2006-05-21T22:36:00.000+09:00

Too tired to make sense.

Left club, found wheelchair, 2 hour snooze in car, volleyball, mud, rice field, mud, sunshine, mud, sunburn, mud, beer, mud, hot dogs, mud, river, mud, muddy hot tub, mud, El Diablo, mud, onsen, no more mud.

Hiroshimashup!!

2006-05-20T23:16:00.000+09:00

I have now been to the US Air base in Iwakuni twice. The first time I had to be smuggled in stealth stylee under a blanket in the boot of a van as I didn't have the appropriate ID. Not wanting to repeat this, this time I came fully prepared only to be waved straight through the gates - no questions asked. After realising their error they eventually came to find us but I must say that they really should step up on the security front. Perez didn't need to swim in after all.

We spent the afternoon with the marines eating, drinking and playing rugby and football. The marines were great hosts so thanks to them and Crystal for organising it. Sorry, didn't take any photos.

Then on to Hiroshima for the lash! The last time I was in Hiroshima it was pissing down with rain, we were lost, I was projectile vomiting, I was extremely drunk and don't remember much. I then woke up in a love hotel (with mirrors on the ceiling) with Pete in a pink yukata and Kat (mordor's friend for all you warwick veterans) lying next to me. Nothing dodge honest!

This time I was determined to still be as drunk but not as ill. I succeeded and made it through to 6 in the morning.

Tanuki's Tokyo Tales

2006-05-05T18:40:00.000+09:00

WARNING! SOME READERS MAY FIND SOME PARTS OF THE FOLLOWING STORY DEEPLY UPSETTING.

Once upon a time in Abu-cho there was an evil old man named David Nathan Swope Weinstein. His only friend was his Keitai (mobile phone) accessory, Tanuki S Weinstein. Despite being treated awfully and being fed only cheap packet curry, Tanuki stood my his owner no matter what. Then Tanuki's world was shattered. David returned from trip to Nagasaki with a new Keitai accessory and Tanuki was tossed into the bin with only empty packets of curry to keep him company. Not quite accustomed to the Japanese rubbish system, David didn't empty the waste bin for weeks and Tanuki was forced to lay there watching David having fun with his new accessory. These weeks of torment put Tanuki in a dark evil place. Pauline and myself took it upon ourselves, as co founders of the NSPKA (National Society for the Protection of Keitai Accessories), to take Tanuki on a Tokyo holiday to show him that there is more than Dave to life. (The NSPKA is also in cooperation with the NSPHBD - National Society for the Protection of Heart Breaker Dave - there are millions of women everywhere suffering from their hearts broken when they relise the "nice guy"thing is all an act.)
Chorong showing Tanuki the love and respect he deserves.Tanuki mingling with the Harajuku girls.Tanuki joining in with the Elvis impersonators at HarajukuNews of Tanuki's story soon spread across the Land and protests against the mis treatment of keitai accessories were held. Pauline and I decided to expose Tanuki to some history and culture so we took him to the World Heritage Site at Nikko.
The saying "Hear no evil, speak no evil, see no evil" originates from a carving on one of the buildings at Nikko. Tanuki found some friends to do their own version.
Some of the sites at Nikko reminded poor Tanuki of his time with Dave. At the NSPKA, we encourage our accessories to face their demons.At Nikko there was a statue of the NSPKA's patron : Prince Yamane Sensei. Tanuki had a whale of a time snogging and flirting with this Christine Perez lookalike. (no tanukis were injured during the taking of this photo)
The next step in Tanuki's rehabiltation was to expose him to the rich variety of food in this world. A far cry from his packet curry days.

2006-05-05T15:34:00.000+09:00

Tanuki doing a spot of hanami.We treated Tanuki to a trip to the Asahi Brewery Headquarters. We let him try all kinds of new beers. Unfortunately they were out of the beer named 'ALT'. Why is everyone staring at me? Have I got a giant golden poo on my head or something? eh?

Whilst Pauline and I headed to the Ghibli animation museum, Tanuki decided to go on his own little adventure and managed to find the oldest hydroelectric power plant in Japan. Thrilling stuff.
Here's the cheeky little scamp trying to break in for a closer look. Abunai - yo!

The Spillers in Japan - The Finale

2006-04-15T18:20:00.000+09:00

For their last night in Japan, the Spiller and Ballantyne clan joined forces along with Hagi ALTs in a Yakiniku and Karaoke extravaganza. It was great fun but I had to ruin it didn't I? Unable to leave a party where there is still fun and booze to be had I let my prents return hime without me. Well, let's just say I don't remember much except for waking up under Christine's kotatsu (heated table) wih numerous missed calls, only 20minutes before my parents had to leave. Idiot! At least my parents are comforted in the fact that I haven't changed and that I still do stupid things from time to time.Ginny - she loves a good piece of meat!

The next Osmonds?

Now this reminded me of a photo taken at festivus. At least Meagn's smiling in this one but I can still see the pain of being dropped on her head in her eyes.

The Spillers at school

2006-04-15T18:08:00.000+09:00

I tried to sneak my parents and sister quietly into my base school so that they could have a quick look around. They were immediately ushered into the Priciple's room and then whisked off to have the brass band play for them. Not quite the discrete look around I was expecting. My sister was given a baseball by the baseball boys and loads of hugs from the girls. I don't get any hugs :( Then they came to my elementary school for a day. I had been moaning about the teacher there the whole 2 weeks building up to it - but the bloody cow was on her best behaviour and was normal for once!!!! Typical.

My parents were amazed by the school and finally agreed that Japanese kids are exceptionally cute, despite claiming that all kids are the same wherever you go. My mother is a governor of an elementary school at home so she was fascinated by the similarities and difference between the two schools and wants to set up a link in the name internationalisation.

Male bonding

2006-04-11T18:02:00.000+09:00

I thought that my father needed to experience a night out on the town with me in Hagi so I took him to a local snack bar. For those of you that don't know, a snack bar is a bar where mainly men go to enjoy the company of the barmaids and to avoid their wives waiting at home with the kids . I don't think I should have taken him to one where they know me by name. ooops.

He spent the whole night saying "this is weird" but I'm sure he loved the company of Tomo-chan and Ai-chan!!

Tsuwano

2006-04-09T17:39:00.000+09:00

Perfect timing - just as we got to Hagi there was an archery festival in Tsuwano. The aim of the festival: hurtle down a track as fast as you can on horseback whilst trying to hit wooden targets along the way. Easy!

That night Dan, Pete and one of my teachers came around for nabe. Apparently we were noisy and pissed of the neighbors. waheeeey!

Kyoto

2006-04-06T22:37:00.000+09:00

What can I say? I LOVE KYOTO!!! We had a great time. We did some hanami, some karaoke (despite their reluctance they loved it!!) and the usual temple and shrine visits. My mum and sister dressed up as Maiko-sans and they looked awesome. I'll post the professional pictures when I receive them. My sister almost blew chunks when she did tea ceremony in Nijo castle. My mum told her off and said not to be a wimp. She later admitted to almost puking too.

The Maiko-sans were impossible to photograph. Despite their tall wooden clog type footwear, they were nifty little buggers!!

Apprently this is a very famous sakura tree. It was very impressive but I was more interested in the beer on sale nearby. We bumpd into the one and only Justin on our travels. He was able to take this photo for us. He was on top form and my parents thought he was hilarious.

We stumbled across some major hanami at Yasaka shrine. It was so much fun. I could have stayed drinking there all night. This mash up nutter was trying to sell me Yakisoba in English. I think he was on something. It took him a whole five minutes into the conversation before he realised that I was replying in Japanese.
The golden temple at Kinkakuji.
The red gates at Fushimi-Inari Taisha

Mount Fuji

2006-04-04T22:20:00.000+09:00

Before leaving for Mount Fuji, we decided to visit Tsukiji fish market. Whilst we were too late to see most of the action we did almost get flattened by these contraptions. I wanted one so I stole one.After blagging myself a rail pass we made it to Mount Fuji and was greeted by this view from my bedroom window in the ryokan (traditional Japanese Inn).

I'm definitely climbing it in July!! Who's with me?

The rest of Tokyo - IN A DAY!!

2006-04-03T22:02:00.000+09:00

With one day left in Tokyo we managed to fit in people watching in Harajuku, shopping in Shinjuku, a Japanese wedding, Arcade Taiko Drumming (my sister is addicted), the world's busiest crossing in Shibuya, some very expensive but very potent cocktails in Roppongi and a night view of the city from the Mori Tower. Not bad in one day.

My father was so embarassing in Harajuku. He kept walking around with his mouth wide open, taking photos and pointing at everyone.Charenji - spot the weirdo!! (clue - she's the short one on the right!) The Mori Tower
The bright lights of Shibuya.

Tokyo Disneyland

2006-04-01T21:40:00.000+09:00

Next we headed for Tokyo Disneyland. Some would say that this wasn't really experiencing Japanese culture. I reckon it's a good introduction to Japan - more kawaii's and sugoi's (cute and great) than bottles of Mon Frere ever drunk by Steph. Also, teenage boys and fully grown men mincing around, adorned with disney hairclips.

The trip also enlightened me on the reason behind Japan's non existent knowledge of Wales. Whilst enjoying the musical and visual feast that is "It's a Small World" we travelled through England, Scotland, Ireland, Greece... wait a minute... Where the fuck is Wales?!? The children in front of us missed the entire ride as they were more interested in the weird foreigners sitting behind them.

Sorry - compulsory cherry blossom picture.

The Haunted House just got a bit too much!!

Spillers in JAPAN!!

2006-03-31T21:19:00.000+09:00

So the Spillers finally made it to Japan and on their first day, desperately trying to avoid jet lag, got fully into the swing of things: a shrine, ramen, hanami (sitting under the cherry blossoms and drinking beer) and sleeping on trains. Great start!

tour guide for a couple of weeks

2006-03-28T15:25:00.000+09:00

I'm hungover at work once again. Though this one is well worth it. Last night I went out with all the young teachers from school as some of them will be leaving and I can't make it to the official sayonara party.

Filth. Pure filth. Let's just say their new English words are "lick out" and "go down". Also, I can no longer look at the girl who sits next to me without thinking of her loins being blazoned with the word "welcome". To top the night off, a dodgy karaoke version of a little known song (that me and my housemates used to take the piss out of) came on. "Last night" by Az Yet. download it now. At first it's awful but then it gets stuck up there and you can't help but love it for it's pure comedy genius (even if it is unintentional).

There are 30 minutes left to count down before I can escape school. Tonight I'm going to Tokyo to meet my parents and sister. I CAN'T WAIT!! see you in a couple of weeks, brb

why? why? why? why? why?

2006-03-27T08:38:00.000+09:00

I have just arrived at school. There are a total of 5 teachers in today including me. Why do I need to be here? This is really starting to annoy me. I have asked for some time off to do an intensive japanese course but they won't let me. Instead I'm sitting here showing the 4 other teachers photos of the crazy gaijin swimming in the sea during March. Which do you think is more productive? ggggggggrrrrrrr!

Beach weather?

2006-03-25T23:59:00.000+09:00

The weather is finally getting warmer so I did the typically British thing of rushing to the beach at the first sight of sunshine. Dave and I can officially say that it is not summer quite yet. It was bloody freezing!! I think it's safe to say that we are the first people to go swimming at Hagi beach this year. Matt and Crystal decided to take lots of romantic photos of themselves using my camera. Thanks for that. I will, err, treasure them forever.Potter and I have decided to have a six pack race. Whoever has the best six pack by a yet to decided date will decide a forfeit for the loser. Here is evidence our original stomachs. Watch this space for progress. (I've already been to mosburger twice this weekend)
Victoria cleverly read her book instead of taking part in ultimte frisbee. It was knackering!! After sunset the men were separated from the boys and poker was played. Dan was in a bit of trouble at one point. Dave had the car, Paul had the house, and I had Rosie. Luckily he managed claw his way back and regain all aforesaid items (not that you're an item Rosie, you're priceless. We told him not to bet you but he insisted) I found out that the more I drink, the worse I get at poker.

Jen's Birthday Bash

2006-03-24T23:43:00.000+09:00

Happy Birthday Jen!! A night of drinking, yaki niku, more drinking and karaoke was held in Jen's honour but the blurry eyed drunkeness and the behaviour of Crystal resulted in any honour being well and truly lost. The Bucket Bar was frequented once more but I'm not sure we can ever return after Crystal broke the saacred tree of karaoke that is found within. I wasn't present for this act of pure vandalism but I'm going to start the rumour that she tried her hand at a spot of pole dancing. As punishment she was forced to sing the first song: Queen's classic "I want to break tree!". Rosie made an amazing wheat free cake for Jen from rice!! Oishii!

Elementary Graduation

2006-03-18T17:22:00.000+09:00

Today I attended my elementary school's graduation ceremony. Being one of the few ALTs that gets to experience teaching at both Senior High and Elementary schools, I gave up my saturday morning to see how the two ceremonies differed. Senior High's cermony is extremely formal, boring and long. I was expecting the same to be true with Elementary but I was pleasantly surprised. There was a lot of standing, bowing, sitting, standing bowing, sitting, standing and some more bowing but once you looked past these formalities there was a glimmer of celebration, nostalgia and emotion. All students took part, not just those who were graduating. They made a arches for the 6th grade to enter the hall through, they sang, they played musical instruments, they made speeches to say thank you and there was a slide show of photographs of their entire time at elementary school. Another thing that impressed me was that they didn't use the stage and everyone sat in a square facing eachother. This made it a lot more informal and intimate. It also eliminated any signs of hierarchy as the parents, the teachers and officials, the students and the graduates each formed a side of the square. The only thing that I found slightly weird was the students marching in to 'Land of Hope and Glory'. It felt like the last night of the proms.

I've been tagged! 6 things you didn't know about me

2006-03-13T22:06:00.000+09:00

1. I was a member of the 2001 Welsh Champion Trampolining Team (we were the only full male team so automatically won! Bet you wish you could see me in a leotard - sorry no pictures).

2. I have been for a cheeky dip in Venice's Grand Canal.

3. I have had my eyebrow, nipple and tongue pierced. Just don't let me near a piercing studio when I'm intoxicated.

4. I have a burping problem when I drink alcohol. I have an even bigger problem when people insist on rubbing my back to help - this triggers automatic projectile vomiting. DON'T BURP ME - it passes with time.

5. I'm not. Skye and Letty are not. Bob is definitely not.

6. I'm not actually Welsh.

International crimer

2006-03-09T22:42:00.000+09:00

It was only a matter of time before the fuzz (the police) caught up with me. It's been nice knowing you all but soon I will be going to Jail. My evil rating is about to rocket past 50%. The truth is out - I'm an international crimer. I recieved an email from my father today saying that he needed my wrist size so that they know what handcuffs to bring. How can he joke at such a serious time? His favorite son (sorry Adam but deep down you know it's true) is about to go to jail. (I really hope my school don't know this blog address).

So about 9 months ago I travelled to London to pick my brother's car up from the airport because he was leaving for New Zealand. As I arrived home from work late, I was in a rush to get there in time. As a result I left my wallet in my work uniform at home. I got off the train at Reading and was stopped at the exit gate so that they could check my ticket. My ticket was only valid if I had my student rail card. It's very common to buy one of these tickets even if you didn't have a card because they didn't usually care. You've guessed it - my card was at home
in my wallet along with my cashcard and today was the day that they would decide to check my tickt out of the whole 3 years I had been in University.

The ticket inspector called over an undercover police man. He wanted me to pay the rest of my ticket. I couldn't - my wallet was at home. The whole situation looked ridiculous. It was the middle of hayfever season and I get it bad. I was there with scruffy hair, scruffy clothes, ripped jeans, a red nose and swollen bloodshot eyes. I looked like a druggie. They asked to search my bag - for some mad reason all it contained was a book on beginners Japanese. They asked why I was going to London. It sounded a bit suspect.

Then things got worse. They asked for my address - 16B High Street,..... Our landlord had done something very dodgy when he converted our flat so 16B did not exist on any records. I gave them my parents address and they did a police check on them.

They made me make a statement and sign it. They made it seem that it was all sorted, that I had been giving a telling off and to never forget my railcard again. I thought that was the end of it, however, 9 months later....

my father recieves a letter stating that following a court hearing at the end of January 2006 I need to pay £224 in compensation, court costs and fine order otherwise I will be arrested next week! They have been sending mail to my student address but I haven't been there to recieve it.

What really annoys me is

1. I told them when I would be moving out of that address
2. they told me that my student address didn't exist - so how could they send mail there?
3. I gave them my parents address as an alternative
4. they said nothing about any further action
5. I could have produced my railcard or a fine quite easily at any time after that day
6. They didn't bother contacting me for the two months between then and leaving for japan
7. WHY AREN'T THEY OUT THERE CATCHING REAL CRIMINALS?!

I don't know whether to be angry or laugh. I will keep you updated.

me? evil? never

2006-03-07T23:11:00.000+09:00

You Are 50% Evil

You are evil, but you haven't yet mastered the dark side.Fear not though - you are on your way to world domination.

How'>http://www.blogthings.com/howevilareyouquiz/">How Evil Are You?

Akiyoshidai Yama-yaki

2006-03-07T22:36:00.000+09:00

Ginny promised fire and we had fire - a whole mountain's worth! This weekend a few of us headed to Mito for a half marathon (why oh why). Saturday night we made our way to Akiyoshidai to watch the mountain being set alight. They made the kanji for fire 'hi' out of, wait for it... fire! How clever is that? The next day we were to run 21km across Akiyoshidai. I was still in denial.

2006-03-03T17:05:00.000+09:00

Describe yourself using one band and song titles from that band

Choose a band/artist and answer only in song TITLES by that band:: stereophonics

Are you male or female:: local boy in the photograph

Describe yourself:: devil

How do some people feel about you:: last of the big time drinkers

How do you feel about yourself:: I'm alright

Describe your ex girlfriend/boyfriend:: help me (she's out of her mind)

Describe your current girlfriend/boyfriend:: she takes her clothes off

Describe where you want to be:: caravan holiday

Describe what you want to be:: superman

Describe how you live:: maybe tomorrow

Describe how you love:: I miss you now

Share a few words of wisdom: pick a part that's new

Memory Loss

2006-03-02T13:40:00.000+09:00

Today I was able to regain my memory from a night out 7 months ago. Letty has kindly provided these photos. It was my final piss up before I left for Japan and I honestly have no recollection of the time between the first few drinks and being dragged out of a swimming pool semi-conscious and unable to move in the early hours of the morning. Until today the night has been a total mystery to me. I have been told many things about my behaviour that night and now it's all flooding back. It was an awesome night. Miss you guys loads!!

Fire Limbo - mum don't look

2006-03-02T13:33:00.000+09:00

Finally got hold of some pictures of my fire limbo triumph at koh pangan over the New year. How stupid am I? I was off my face!!

Hadaka Matsuri - Nakedmashou!

2006-02-19T12:57:00.000+09:00

Stirling, Pete, Dave, Tom Smith and I travelled to Okayama for the naked man festival. None of us had really thought this through or done any research. Hell on earth is the only way i can describe it. We braved the elements with a loin cloth (fundoshi) wedged up our arse cracks to keep our dignity and any body warmth left. We then ran around the streets 3 times being drenched in freezing cold water by sadistic old ladies at the side of the road. Then through a pool of water three times and then into the mass orgy of naked men to fight for a couple of sticks. I can't describe it. It was painful and dangerous. I almost passed out at one point. I would probably do it again but I need a year to pass in order to forget what it was like. An amazing but weird experience.

If you're bored....

2006-02-14T22:58:00.000+09:00

I was shown this website a few years ago in university when I had a lot of time on my hands. I can't believe I forgot about it. It's brilliant!!

I think that Fishy and First Drink of the Day should be the anthems to our Japanese lives (Kat hungover in an indian restaurant "perhaps a beer will sort me out")

But nothing can beat the pure genius that is We Like the Moon. Im so sad. I giggle to myself in my appartment watching these.

www.rathergood.com

2006-02-12T18:54:00.000+09:00

Moustache Partay!!

2006-01-21T21:55:00.000+09:00

Paul very kindly hosted a moustache party and despite the punch bordering on toxic, a good night was had by all (especially by the peanut lobbers - mark - rosie) After a quick stop at the 100yen for some fluffy pencil cases and gigantic scissors and double sided sticky tape, Hannah and I had created facial masterpieces that were worthy of a slot on Blue Peter. However, they proved ploblematic with eating and drinking so I had to resort to a brown permanent marker tash. I did not look like a 70's porn star and we did not end up in Joyfull at four in the morning fully tashed. As usual, Tom Smith was the lifa and soul of the party - until he passed out in my groin. Ken taught me bad Japanese. Can you guess what he's teaching me here? Answers on the back of a postcard.And David Nathan Hitler Swope Weinstein turned up. Only the other day Mr Weinstein was discussing with my good self how ALTs only ever see eachother outside of school hours and that there is this whole other secret life that we lead when we're actually working. This has got me thinking. I suspect that Mr Weinstein (if that's his real name) did not adorn himself with this Hitler-esque design for irony. Oh no. This mild mannered gentleman from a good Jewish family is not who we think he is. The evidence below is not his costume for the party but in fact his normal guise for this 'other life' that he speaks about. Abu-cho is witnessing the beginnings of a dictatorhip soon to engulf Japan. His first aim is to oust and supersede the mayor of this small country town. Then, with his groomed Weinstein Army of elementary and junior high students, he plans to shift his power to the rest of Yamaguhi Ken, then Japan, then the world!! He claims to have written a "hiking book" but don't fall for it and certainly don't buy it. His skill with the quill is far more superior than any other. The book is in fact a medium through which sublimal messages can be transmitted to snare ALTs to join his Weinstein Army. His sole reason for not recontracting is that his plan will be in full swing come July. Don't say you haven't been warned. Or it might just be irony and I have too much time on my hands.

Thaimash!!

2006-01-08T23:03:00.000+09:00

And here are the not so respectable photos.......

Despite Dickson arriving 24 hours late we still managed to have a good time. Our holiday in a nutshell.... Robbie Williams singing taxi driver, a foreign blanket, a suspected case of bird flu, a pilgrimage for a holy loo, fire limbo, burnt ankles, hospital room, motorbike, a snake squashed in half, vommiting on an otter, abandoned towel, a Thai intruder, croaking frogs, leg warmers and illegal swimming. All in all it was very pleasant! We're sober honest!
Faster!

Ronald is a buddhist!

Cheers big ears!

Fire Limbo - the aftermath!

Thailand

2006-01-07T23:10:00.000+09:00

These are the more respectable holiday snaps......

The Smirking Fat " Lucky Buddha", Bangkok - This is only open once a year and does not feature in any guide books. Only known to people of the buddhist religion and not seen by many foreigners. They looked as though they had seen a ghost when we showed up but they were very welcoming after the original shock that we knew about its existence.

Ang Thon National Marine Park Sunset Kho Phangan
Mae Nam Chao Phraya River, Bangkok....

Reclining buddha - Wat Po (45m long!).....
Wat phra kaew...

Hagi Christmas

2005-12-25T22:55:00.000+09:00

A very different christmas for me this year but it was an extremely enjoyable one!! Dan and Rosie were the perfect hosts. We ate lots, still drank lots despite hangovers and had a jolly good time. Rosie was a trooper in the kitchen and served up a great meal. Christmas dinner with silver chopsticks - bizarre!

What is this I see? Saori, my JTE, giving an inflatable sheep a blow, a nasty blow. (thanks for the sheep jo, coc and liz!!)

It's Christmas!!

2005-12-22T17:15:00.000+09:00

Christmas is here! Looks like it may be a white one aswell! kurisumasu omedetou!

Tsunoshima

2005-12-18T17:01:00.000+09:00

In an attempt to redeem ourselves from waking the whole of Takibe up in the early hours, we had a mature alcohol-free day visiting the island of Tsunoshima. It was bloody freezing but worth it. The views were amazing. We then visited a log cabin cafe on the sea front, run by a couple who live in Yamaguchi city but retreat to Tsunoshima on weekends. We sat drinking tea and eating 1/4 of a BLT (they were not prepared for 11 hungry foreigners) whilst overlooking the sea. Perfect!

Festivus!

2005-12-17T23:00:00.000+09:00

Festivus - a new concept for me. I don't know much about this particular holiday, but I know I like it! The concept, taken from American sitcom Seinfeld, is to repel the commercial and joyous aspects of Christmas by sitting around an aluminium pole and then air your grievances against anyone present. Potentially dangerous and vindictive but also potentially hilarious. The jury is still out but I had a great night.

Would anyone care for a bit of raw horse whilst you drunkenly slag your friends off?The night continued to a Karaoke bar. This happened.......

then this happened.....Upon departure from the bar, we discovered a covering of snow and insisted on rolling in it, throwing it, sliding in it and lying in it. Dave, however, took it too far, as somebody always does, and dump tackled Megan head first into the floor. What made it worse was that it was in front of a shrine. Honestly, some people!Smithers was up to his usual Tom foolery but was the perfect host. Back to his for mulled wine, aluminium pole dancing and door smashing. "Don't answer me back, bitch! Now go get me another beer."

Hagi Half Marathon - I did it!

2005-12-11T22:42:00.000+09:00

Well despite my anxiety and doubts I did it! 1 hour 47 mins - not bad, even if I do say so myself. Pete proved us all wrong and came in first (1h35) Dave second (1h37) and me third. I thoroughly enjoyed the whole day. Jen (who has buggered off to Thailand with all the good pics of the day), Chorong and Pauline were troopers and cycled around the course to give us support.Unfortunately Chorong had a minor mishap on the bike, landed on her head and cut her finger so they were unable to make the finish. At around the 7km mark i started to slip behind and lose Pete and Dave but ended up running with a really cool guy from Shimonoseki who spoke really good English (very handy as there was no way I was going to try my bad Japanese, I could barely breathe!). I was very surprised by the amount of people who I knew and who were cheering for me. It was a huge ego trip!!

After the race we hobbled straight for Mos Burger (crawling distance from my house) and then an onsen to soothe our blisters aches and pains.
Then back to mine for a well earned drink or two or three. Then dinner at Chanmen (also crawling distance) and we then frequented Mos Burger for the second time. Believe it or not, it was actually a really relaxing day. Thanks to Pete and Dave for talking em into it and being great company (Pete didn't rub it in too much) and to our cycling groupies.

The race

2005-12-09T22:12:00.000+09:00

Jostling elbows and snide glances were exchanged through the steam venting from each determined grimace at the start line. As far as I was concerned, there were only three competitors in this race: The first an experienced runner and undoubtable victor, the second a smarmy git forever talking himself up since the word go and the third - yours truly. The remainder were insignificant.

A heavy police presence and crowds lining the streets only confounded the unforgiving pressure. It was cold. It was early. It was not my idea of fun. Why had I agreed to this?

The rest I can't retrieve from the stew of excruciating pain, regret and "ganbare's" offered from the side. The other two were ahead every step of the way. I ended up in a disappointing fourth. FOURTH! FOURTH! FOURTH! I was racing my elementary school for God's sake! It was only 3km! There is no way I can do 20km on Sunday. I'm done for. It's been nice knowing you guys.

Wales - a beautiful city in England that's stuck in the past

2005-12-09T21:35:00.000+09:00

Today at my elementary school the Kocho Sensei wanted to show me a NHK English Education video as it featured a report on Wales. Well all I can say is that I'm no longer surprised why the few Japanese people that have heard of Wales immediately think of stereotypes from yesteryear.

First of all it implied that we all work at slate quarries - this being the only matierial we know how to build with. As the narrator announced "and here are some locals", a group of quarry workers hopped on to carriages loaded with slate and they merrily darted through the green countryside with their legs dangling over the edge. This was all beautifully edited with some delightfully bad folk music.

At this point I thought it was quite funny but then the kocho sensei translated what they were saying.

Apparently in Welsh schools we use slate and chalk instead of blackboards and paper. WHAT? Maybe 200 years ago..... I asked him to clarify whether they were commenting on our history. NO!! They definitely said that this is now, today, 2005!! Unbloodyfuckingbelievable! I give up.

Hagi Half Marathon

2005-12-08T22:19:00.000+09:00

So my training for the Hagi Half Marathon started today - 3 days before the event!!!! What am I doing? I thought I did really well, however, I just calculated that I only ran 3.5 km. That can't be true. If it is then I'm well and truly buggered on Sunday. The course goes near my house and Mos Burger at the 6km and 14km point. I'm sure no one will notice if I drop out in a stealth-like manner and cough my guts up, paralysed in bed with only a teriyaki chicken burger for company.

Akiyoshi-dai Caves

2005-11-27T20:34:00.000+09:00

Now what an arse! Yamaguchi Rear of the Year perhaps? Post your nominations! In the caves we payed an extra 300 yen for the privelage of putting our own lives at risk. We climbed up to the top of the cave with nothing in the form of safety precautions. Admittedly, they did provide torches but I guess that these were for the sole purpose of being able to find our insurance cards when we slip on the wet stone and break our backs. This is the view from above the caves. It really reminded me of the landscape at home- it was just like being back in the Brecon Beacons (minus the sheep).

Autumn

2005-11-26T20:13:00.000+09:00

I have never really considered autumn as a beautiful season. Back home the sky is always grey and the leaves turn a shitty brown colour. Japan is a different story. The colours are vibrant and contrasting. I bloody love it! After our thanksgiving meal on Saturday we managed to lift our fat butts off the sofa and have a cheesey Dawson's Creek stylee frollock in the autumnal debris.

Thanksgiving

2005-11-26T19:13:00.000+09:00

As I have never experienced thanksgiving before I thought, 'what the hell -I'll go to three in one week to see what this holiday from the US of A is all about.

Tuesday night was Anita's thanksgiving in Shimonoseki. Despite arriving late, there was plenty of food to go around. Managed to catch up with people I haven't seen in a while and had a chilled night. Thanks for being a great host Anita.Thursday saw a new twist on the Thanksgiving tradition: KFC, wine, beer and dominoes with Paul. Not traditional but fun nonetheless.Saturday I ventured into the inaka for thanksgiving at Chris' in Mitou-cho. I have a feeling that this was the closest I was going to get to experiencing the real deal. Chris' neighbours and students came and there was a real family atmosphere. We ate too much and had a mid afternoon slump but carried on til the early hours. It was really relaxed. Thanks Chris.

Awaji Soccer Tournament

2005-11-20T23:39:00.000+09:00

Now it may come as a surprise to some, particularly to those at home, that I took part in the Awaji Football Tournament. Throughout my school years we never played football as rugby was the more predominant sport. As a result, my poor football skills became notorious and, whenever I have attempted to play, I was often laughed off the pitch (I had trouble connecting my foot to the ball even when it was stationary). Before this weekend, a football tournament would not have been my idea of fun but my stint in Japan has surprised me yet again. The supporters were great and team spirit was amazing. This weekend reminded me why I actually did sport in the years preceeding my acquaintance with alcohol. I'm still not very good at the old game but I've definitely improved.

The girls played really well and came away with third place! The main team didn't come anywhere but we did ourselves proud. A few other teams approached us to tell us how they enjoyed playing against us because of our sportsmanship and attitude. A big thanks to Crystal and Jeremy for organising everything!!!!! To captain Neal and also to our ringers Jay and Ivor. Dave was a force to be reckoned with in Goals - a true natural. This is after he won us the first match by saving all three penalties after the no score draw.The girls had to round up a few ringers from Mie prefecture as they had no subs. I had to lend my shirt to this particular ringer - her name turned out to be Jackie!! Saturday night we went to an onsen to soothe our muscles, the outdoor pools overlooked the Akashi Kaikyo-ohashi: the longest suspension bridge in the world (3.91km), connecting Kobe to Awaji-shima. We then got drunk.

Pitchside hangover.

On the way back we made a brief stop to the American base in Iwakuni for a Pizza hut. Keith and I had to be smuggled in as we didn't have our gaijin cards. I must admit I was slightly scared being left in the car on my own, covered by a blanket, knowing that there were some very scary marines very closeby with guns. It worked, though. Your security isn't so great is it? The Welsh and Mancunian terrorists infiltrated your base and could have quite easily brought the whole place down!

All the way from the depths of Mordor!

2005-11-15T22:16:00.000+09:00

Now back in Warwick uni there is a poor bloke who ended up pulling one of my friends. (Pete wouldn't say he was a poor bloke after seeing pics of my friends but I'm referring to the aftermath). After this one night of tonsil tennis, he then became an integral part of our university life. This bloke was bloody everywhere!! Each day our group of friends would compete to see who could spot him the most times. (we had a lot of time on our hands). It turms out that almost everyone in uni had noticed this particular person and each had their own little nickname for him. Ours turned out to be 'Mordor' after a drunken night of quoting Lord of the Rings to randoms in a bar (including him). Anyway, this soon turned into a bit of light hearted harassment and everytime the girls saw him they would text him to tell him that they could see him. This stemmed away from university as he was later spotted on a train in London and the essex region.

Sunday am, the morning after the japanese hip hop gangster night before, I wake up to see a picture of 'Mordor' staring at me from Kat's wall. Small world or does Mordor just get about a bit?

"Hiroshima"

2005-11-12T21:51:00.000+09:00

After surviving footie practice, the diablo and I headed for Yanai to meet Kat and then proceed to an Indie night in Hiroshima.

Things didn't quite work out as they planned. After a few drinking games and obscene conversations it took a turn for the worse/better. Arse licking, CD rimming, casual sausage, inserting objects, cooking oil, blinded by a ketai light, Japanese hip hop gangsters (Doggy and Kentaro), break dancing, a van, more booze and then back to Kats.

I think that it's safe to say that we had fun. Every weekend seems to be more carnage than the previous. Bring on soccer next weekend!

Louise - If you can't remember it, it didn't happen

2005-11-11T21:38:00.000+09:00

Being the youngest in the Ken, I take great pleasure in telling everyone how old they're getting. But here's a few comforting words (to make a change). Quite often after a night out, my friends and I would live by the rule 'If you can't remember it, it didn't happen'. Louise, if you were any where near the level of drunk that I was on friday ( I have a suspicion that you may well have been) you will not remember any details from your birthday. This is good! this means that your birthday did not happen. You are still 23! (but that's still old)

The night involved drinking Guiness in the rain, a dodgy gaijin man dumping a body in his boot, potcheen (thanks to Pete and Tom), losing my jacket, and spewing in the street. What a great night!

Halloween in Yanai

2005-10-29T21:03:00.000+09:00

The costumes were just amazing! What did I go as? Jackie Baggins, of course. I spent the whole night having Japanese folk touching my 100yen self inflating boobs, asking if I was really a man and pulling my wig (aka known as my real hair!! get off!) The 7-11 workers had me giggling for days after. Suzy Wong, Max Value and Joy Full. Wsh I had been there to see them hijack the 7-11 store round the corner.
Is Dave not the hottest witch that you have ever feasted your eyes upon?
Dansama did an impressive samba.
Stephen Hawkins showed his face.
Queen and Queen of the fancy dress competition - Jackie and Anpanman. Us Hagites are just unbeatable.
Genius! Matt and Crystal as sushi.

Dave's shindig

2005-10-28T20:58:00.000+09:00

Well I certainly made up for my sober birthday at Dave's house party. There was plenty of beer and plenty of tequila. Dave's co workers were crazy!

My birthday - and I didn't have a single drink!!

2005-10-27T20:46:00.000+09:00

22! I'm getting old but at least I'm still the youngest in the ken. The students at school made me birthday cards and sang to me in class. The English department gave me some Hagi yaki beer cups. They obviously know what I'm like! This evening I went to Dan and Rosie's Halloween party for their English conversation class. Rosie made me a cake!! Thank you!!! It was good shit. I had a really nice sober day.

Apologies

2005-10-26T20:38:00.000+09:00

I would just like to apologise for the lack of bloggage over the past few weeks. Whilst camping in Ato I broke my camera, being the drunken mess that I am. As a result, I've not had any photos of the mash that has taken place. I have therefore stolen all the photos from other blogs. Sorry!

Good news though! When I purchased my camera within the first few weeks of arriving I could speak no Japanese except for 'hai'. Luckily this lack of language caused me to sign up for insurance and guarantee. Camera is fixed!

Coca Cola

2005-10-18T23:31:00.000+09:00

Anyone at home would know that I am addicted to Coke (the drink not the drug, although the zen zen humiliation has driven me to alcohol, boobs and violence with plastic automatic weapons - drugs are the final piece in the jigsaw). Anyone at home would also know that I view Diet Coke as the lovechild of George Bush and the Devil. It disgusts me. It's wrong. It makes my skin crawl.

I hope Pete realises the pain I went through whilst purchasing a bottle for him today. I feel dirty.

Help!

2005-10-18T23:29:00.000+09:00

Does anyone know why my blog is so mash up and half way down the page?

Camping in Ato

2005-10-16T23:16:00.000+09:00

I don't think too much needs to be said about this night. It was great fun; yaki niku (barbecue), campfire, wine, whiskey, round mongolian tents and great company. It was good to get to know people from Shimane Ken and also people from the other side of our own Ken.

At a very early stage in the night we all decided that we had drunk enough and that we were tired so we all shook hands, said goodnight and that was that. cough cough.

Thanks again to Victoria and James for organising it. Would love to do it again sometime (maybe we could stay up later and drink a bit more?)

koncho'd at kencho

2005-10-13T19:31:00.000+09:00

Now I have only been in Japan for 76 days and I have already been targeted and publicly humiliated by the other JETs. Whilst at Kencho (our prefectural government office in Yamaguchi City) a certain publication known as 'Zen Zen' was distributed to everyone and then some. What I discovered on the back page, if I may be so frank, was truly shocking. I'm feeling emotional even just writing about it. I feel as though the editors have clapped their hands together and thrust their jouvenile, immature, grubby little fingers right up my arse!! (metaphorically speaking of course).It featured pictures of myself looking terribly hungover (which, although a rare sight, has lead the readers to believe otherwise), pictures of Jackie Kennedy and Frodo Baggins (I have no idea why) and this headline and blurb:

" LORD of the GUCH- The Fellowship of the Butchers"

"One man's quest to find the love of his life. The journey, finding his long lost mother, Jackie Kennedy. An epic that proves big things come in small packages. Join Matt and his other drinking buddies, in the Fellowship of the Butchers."

Where did all of this come from? I feel that I have been victimised and, as a result, my poor demure, non drinking self has been compromised. This, of course, had disasterous effects and I hope that you are all prepared to share the blame for the person that I have become.

The first stage of my breakdown was being driven to alcohol (something that we all know I deeply oppose). Luckily some JETs realised the error of their mocking ways and gave me moral support (and no we are not drinking from cans, on a bench, in the most central part of the city during the afternoon). I was then driven to seek out boobs. From a completely innocent young man, I was propelled into the seedy world that all you other JETs seem to rot in.
To pop the cherry on top of it all, I turned to using automatic weapons against poor, defenseless, karaoke singing plastic men.

All I have to say is that I hope you feel proud of yourselves.

Taiko Drumming

2005-10-12T23:12:00.000+09:00

Pauline managed to organise for a group of us to try our hand at taiko drumming tonight. It was really good fun and I would love to kepp doing it except that they practice on saturdays.
Chorong, Pauline and Rosie showing us how good they are at banging (the drum of course. Some of you are just pure filth!)
Pete playing with his big one.

Mos Burger

2005-10-10T11:04:00.000+09:00

May I please take a moment.... for Mos Burger. The best invention since the burger! I bloody love that place! Although, I have frequented this particular establishment far too often as the guy who works there now knows my order and and supplies me with extra mayonaise without even asking. mmm!

Hofu Festival

2005-10-09T23:53:00.000+09:00

After the English camp, one of the women offered to take Jen and I around Hofu and luckily there was a festival taking place.
This is Hiroko. She claimed that she came to English camp to find young men! She then chose me to be her Prince Charming in Cinderella and then tried to hold my hand in this picture! Oh I've get the hotties alright!

This poor girl was the equivalent to 'carnival queen' and had to wear 12 kimonos. Too bloody hot for that shinanigans.

Hofu English Camp

2005-10-09T23:31:00.000+09:00

This weekend I volunteered to work at an English camp in Hofu whilst many other JETs were off at drinking festivals and partying on Oshima Island (if I had known I wouldn't have volunteered), however, I ended up having a really good time.

High point: winning the best actor award for my portrayal of Prince Charming in 'Cinderella: The Later Years'. Managed to get a bottle of whiskey out of it!!!!!!!

Low point: Teaching the 'Hokey Kokey'. I really got into the "woooooooooooo's" (can't believe the American version doesn't have that - it's the best bit!!!)

This bloke taught us folk dancing but he kept forgeting the steps so it would change half way through each song. He set up his own sound system and had his own microphone attached to his shirt. He was a leg end!
Matt and Crystal at the tea ceremony. It was luminous green! It was foul!
We got the chance to listen to these women playing the shimansen and then tried it ourselves afterwards.

Chomonkyo River Gorge

2005-10-02T22:35:00.000+09:00

With only two hours sleep and completely under the influence, I still thought it was a good idea to go hiking in Chomonkyo River Gorge. Mistake! The hangover kicked in on the way there. Luckily it was more of a stroll than a hike. The views were pretty imressive but I was concentrating more on standing up. However, a quick dip in the river soon sorted me out.

Afterwards I had my first onsen (hot spring) experience. Couldn't think of anything better than getting bollock naked with loads of Japanese men on a Sunday afternoon. Actually, it wasn't as bad as I was expecting it to be, though I haven't quite grasped the whole onsen etiquette yet.

Drunk, again!

2005-10-02T06:00:00.000+09:00

OK, so what do you do when you're really hungover? Go to another party of course! We experienced the culinary delights of Miss Alex Potter. Remember the name! She's gonna be the next Delia (but better looking). The menu was Mexican and it was so good to eat something that wasn't Japanese. Can I request a roast for next time? Anyway, was finding it really hard to get back on it in my hungover state (but was still encouraging everyone else!) The time came to leave with Dan and Rosie (sorry guys, feel as though I'm treating you as a taxi service) but my arm was twisted to stay for some more drinking and poker. The night could have gone two possible ways:

1- struggling to keep on it and falling asleep really early
2- Finding inner strength and getting absolutely munted

It ended up as it usually does. (number 2 if you don't know me). Ended up going to bed at six in the morning, despite having to go hiking the next day.

Had a really good night getting to know everyone a little better ( I know that sounds a bit cheesy, but ut's true) It was good to be around fellow brits and stupid sayings from home. If only I had known Kat when we were at Warwick. I'm sure we could have had a few carnage nights. It's weird to think that we had probably rubbed asses in the market place at Top B and not even realised it! The party animals left standing (well more of a sprawl on the floor than standing) : Me, Alex, Louise and Pete.

Paaaaartaaaaaaaaaaay!

2005-10-01T00:00:00.000+09:00

Tonight Dan and Rosie had yet another partay! Choron, their Korean friend, cooked lots of good food and, yes you've guessed it, a lot of alcohol was consumed. The night ended disgracefully with Pete and I having to be put to bed by Choron because we were that wasted. A good night!

Top: the aftermath.

Bottom: Me, Dan, Dave, Pete and random Japanese teacher (too drunk to remenber his name)

Held hostage by four year olds!

2005-09-27T23:32:00.000+09:00

Returning from work, I was ambushed by four Japanese kids (crazy that, being in Japan and all) at the entrance of my appartment. They greeted me with a "hi" and followed me to my front door. How could I close the door in their faces? I just had to play with them. One and a half hours of ketai* thieving, konchoing** genkiness*** later I needed to escape. They were having none of it!

I must say, however, that they were the most receptive children I have come accross to communicating in English (including my 18 year old students). We understood eachother, despite there being a language barrier (admittedly that might have something to do with my true mental age). I gave Sayaka my prize garlands from my limbo victory in Fukuoka but later found that they had found my postbox and returned them to me. How sweet are they!

*ketai - mobile phone
** konchoing- from the verb 'to koncho'. Japanese kids tend to catch their teachers unaware by poking their hands up your arse. Little buggers.
***genki - chirpy

My new housemate!

2005-09-25T22:36:00.000+09:00

Boys' night!

2005-09-24T23:59:00.000+09:00

With the girls away camping, Dan, Pete, Tom, Chris and I got together for Boys' night. I can't disclose the details of the night as what goes on tour stays on tour.

What I will say, though, is that this week I've felt completely comfortable in Japan. I've been able to relax and be my drunken self. The other people in and around Hagi are all great fun and I'm really happy with my life at the moment.

Penis temple

2005-09-23T23:59:00.000+09:00

Really really really hungover today. Definitely a top 3 hangover in Japan. So what do you do when you're felling like you can't make it throught the day? Go to a penis temple of course! Apparently, this place gets any women who goes there pregnant. The girls started chanting 'we want cock' in front of th shrine. Usually this wouldn't bother me, but me and dave tried to make a quick exit as we didn't want to be linked with any immaculate conceptions that may have taken place.

After our fill of phallic statues, Dave drove me and Pauline to Kasayama volcano. The view was amazing, though the weather wasn't too good. Here is a view of Hagi from the volcano. Afterwards, we returnd to Rosie and Dan's for more poker and drinking!

English Department Welcome Enkai

2005-09-22T23:28:00.000+09:00

Today was my English Department Welcome Enkai, a bit late but it did exactly what it says on the tin. It really put me at ease as I have been worried that I haven't been living up to their expectations. Nakano Sensei told me that she was really impressed at how relaxed I am when I interact with the students and that is why she trusted me to teach a class all by myself while she as absent from school. This has given me a lot of confidence and I'm looking forward to teaching for the rest of the year. However, the japanese have a tendency to flatter you even if they don't mean it so I'm not sure if it was sincere. I'm hoping it was as Nakano sensei doesn't act Japanese. I also hope that they don't expect me to live up to this cultural tendency to be polite as I was asked to sit in on one of Sumitomo sensei's observation classes with the principle and vice principle of the school. They asked me my opinion on her teaching as she has only been teaching for 6 months. I was honest and said what I thought. Looking back on it, I hope they don't thik that i was harsh. Oh well, I'll get over it!

From left to right: Nishinaka Sensei, Nakano Sensei, Matt Sensei and Sumitomo Sensei.

After the enkai, I met up with Dave, Pauline and Rosie for a bit of drinking and poker.We got pretty smashed but it was great fun. Rosie "disgrace" Martin passed out on the floor. Good work! You did me proud. The survivors: me, pauline and dave.
The carnage!

Office stalker!

2005-09-21T19:16:00.000+09:00

In need of the school fax number, I made a visit to the school office to ask one of the girls who work there. Oshida san moved her laptop to make room for herself and what do I see stuck to her desk?

Before we came to Japan we had to send Passport photos with our application so that the schools can choose who they want and so that they can recognise us at the airport. The school had blown these photos up to A4 size and I first saw one of these with my application in the principle's office. Oshida san had copied one of these and had it stuck to her desktop. I was a little freaked out to say the least. Oshida san and Kimura san were completely embarassed and could not look me in the face. I returned the compliment by taking a photo of them and doing the same with my desk.

Jackie Kennedy's reincarnation. I've been rumbled!

2005-09-20T23:59:00.000+09:00

Well I have most definitely had one of the funniest nights of my life tonight. At about 5:45 I get a text from Rosie saying that we're leaving for Horiko's at 6:15. Horiko? Who? What? When? Why? It turns out that, in our drunken states on Friday, Pete and I had agreed to be moral support to Rosie and Christine as they were not keen to go round Horiko's for dinner.

We turn up and I can't keep a straight face from the moment we set foot in her house. She is a nutty old japanese woman who loves speaking English and had got in touch with the local Board of Education to try and get JETs to stay with her. She compromised with dinner but she wants to make it a weekly thing.

She immediately drags us to her garden that is lit up by loads of lights (apparently its one of the best gardens in the area and has won awards). She then told us about her husband who died of cancer and showed us the shrine she has made to him and then bowed constantly to it. She then dragged us to the dining room (and I mean dragged, she was pulling us around hand in hand.) We were greeted by her friend (who had never met a foreigner before) and a table full of tempura (deep fried vegetables) sashimi (raw fish and beef) barnacle fruit!!!!! and other random japanese things (including tiny fish with eyes and head all in tact mmmmmmmmm!) She had been cooking all day for us! She also had plenty of red wine!!!!

Well she is probably a millionaire and she gave us a tour of her house: Her art collection (mainly her own work), her 6ft widescreen TV and her 'memorial house' that she built for her husband. She had built an entire separate building in her husband's memory for JETs to live in but the Board fo education won't allow it (thank god). She has wine glasses that cost over £2000 each! Crazy! She wants all our friends and parents to stay with her in the 'memorial house' when they visit.

She just did not stop talking and making weird noises. She kept telling me that I have the same eyes as Jackie Kennedy, and therefore started to call me Jackie cos she couldn't pronounce matt (mattsu). Little did she know that I was, in fact, Jackie Kennedy in a previous life. She kept talking about her husband and how much everything in her house costs. She kept holding my ahnd without realising it and hitting me everytime she said something funny. She was undescribable. No words can explain this woman. You all have to come meet her! Please! Take her off our hands!

Pete was loving the Jackie comments but what goes around comes around stubbsy boy! The results from the girls kissing predictions were in tonight. Who would be the best (purely hypothetical of course) me or Pete? 4-0 to me!!! Sorry Pete, you either have it or you don't. I'm sure you'd be better in other areas, as Rosie so rightly pointed out, such as cycling. We can't all be every girls' fantasy mate.

Fishery High school

2005-09-20T16:01:00.000+09:00

Just come back from my first day at Suisan Fishery High School. It was interesting to say the least. This school basically takes students out to sea for two weeks at a time to teach them fishing skills, navigation and marine biology. The rest of the time they have to do academic subjects. The students are almost all stupid boys who couldn't make it into other schools. They knew no English but there were a few exceptions:

1. "can we make love?" when asked 'how old are you?'.
2. " She's a D cup" when showed a picture of Catherine Zeta Jones
3. " I like bed sports" (and thrusting of hips) when asked 'what sports do you like?'

It was actually a really fun day, except for them taking the piss out of me for my hair-all Japanese people think that I must get my hair curled. It's natural god dammit! It's quite bizzare that they take the piss as J boys are very feminine and are constantly checking their hair.

The sights of Hagi

2005-09-18T15:38:00.000+09:00

Although adamanent that she was not getting out of bed today, Hannah managed to join Justin, Chrisitine, Jen and I for a bit of sightseeing in Hagi. We visited the Toko-ji Shrine which is surrounded by 500 stone lanterns. I have previously visited this shrine in the cover of darkness, when the lanterns were lit, but it was completely different in daylight. (the fence that I broke on my first visit is still on the floor. oooops) There were these really weird bugs jumping about and I tried to get a pic but they seemed to be immune to the lense. They looked completely different to this but I quite like the mash up effect!We then proceeded to the castle grounds. Nothing interesting really, we were too hungover to make any effort to do anything worth talking about sorry! Though there were these nutters climbing on the walls. You know you're getting old when you start thinking 'oooh they shouldn't be doing that, where's their parents eh?' We weren't prepared to jump in after them if they fell, especially when the moat was full of massive psycho coy carp. (though I quite fancied it)